Thursday, May 9, 2013

How Do Chickens "Do It?" Chicken Sex Explained



Well this wasn’t the post I had planned on doing today, but when I trotted outside with my camera to capture some artistic chicken shots on this glorious day, I was treated to a real lens full. Compliments of my Swedish Flower Hen rooster (yes – that is an oxymoron, but the capitalized part is the actual breed name) and one of his Swedish Flower Hen… hens, I found myself with the material for an educational course on the birds and the bees… with an emphases on the birds.

You know? This may seem in rather poor taste to post all of this, but if you are reading this blog, chances are you live on a farm or farmette, or at very least you have or want chickens. I think those of us who are farmers or farmers at heart realize that animals aren’t exactly shy about what (or who) they do or where/when they do it.

(Photo source unknown, but clearly brilliant!)
 So please consider this a warning. If you are easily offended or embarrassed, 

Stop Reading NOW!


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If you are still reading, I will assume that you will not be offended or call me out for posting chicken porn on this blog. Further, I will assume you are either curious about how eggs get fertilized, or you simply can't live without knowing how I am going to approach this delicate subject in such a public manner.


As the mother of 3 children, it would be all to easy to start out with, "When a daddy chicken loves a mommy chicken very, very much..." 

But you know? We're all grownups here. These are chickens, not humans, so let's keep it real. 

It all begins with a hormonally-charged rooster looking for all the world as if he is using Joey's line from the sitcom Friends... "How you doin'?"


Then the Fabio side of Mr. Roo (his name is Gunnar) kicks in for the foreplay. If he could speak, I think it might sound something like: "Hello very fine lady. Do you see the lovely and flamboyant dance that I do just for you. I have lowered my shockingly well-formed wing so as to allow you to see my beautiful feathers. You are impressed, no?"




"Are you not paying attention to my amorous advances, sexy lady? Do you not think me divine?"










"Shall I share my awesomeness with you?"


And here, you can practically hear Astrid's exclamation of "Ooofff" as Gunnar takes a sudden and rather clumsy leap onto her back and balances with one foot on either of her shoulders.


The act that follows takes the balance and skill of Tom Cruise's character in Mission Impossible as he navigates some ridiculously unrealistic obstacle course of deadly laser beams that we all know were electronically added in during editing. (As an aside, I initially spelled "obstacle" wrong and my spell check wanted to change it to "obstetrical." Hmmm... very insightful for my little HAL 9000.)
"Watch as Gunnar delicately navigates this obstetrical course..."

Sometimes Gunnar uses his wings much like a tightrope walker uses a balance pole. Hey - it takes skill to stand on someone's shoulders while having "relations" with them... not that I would know from experience.. but... ahem - moving right along...


The above photo that captured the actual 2 seconds where the "home run" happened.



"When a rooster mates with a hen, he mounts her and, standing on her back, lowers his cloaca (vent) and the hen inverts her own cloaca to meet with his. There is no penetration, but the sperm packet released by the male is taken into the hen's cloaca or vent. From there the sperm makes its way to the infundibulum where it awaits the release of an ovum. Sperm can live in the infundibulum for more than 2 weeks."

Yeah - about 2 seconds is all the splendor in the grass that hen can expect.

Chicken folks will call this part "head-skating", "shoulder-surfing" or just "mating."
(And I call this postition, "The Vulture" he whispered softly into her ear as he fell off her back.)

That's right... shake it off!

A quick, post-coital snuggle...

"Quick! Act like nothing happened! Here comes one of my other wives!"

"I'll call you... "
And then comes the egg - though it can take a few days for eggs to be fertile after the first mating of a hen and roo. Also, eggs can be fertile for up to 3 weeks following the last 2-second romantic encounter between birds.


Even hens without roosters in the yard can go broody, but of course only fertile eggs will hatch.

"Look at me when I'm screaming at you, Mr.! First I push about a dozen objects larger then my own head out of my cloaca, and then I have to SIT here for 21 days! Did you HEAR that? Twenty-one days... while you... what? While you're off doing the wing-dance for that hussy, Ginger!"

And then come chicks!


And that, my friends, is where baby chickens come from!


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32 comments:

  1. Lol, excellently written :D x

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  2. great review for those of us new to chickens! I will bookmark this. We have 4 week old chicks, and don't yet know which will be roos or hens. My kids will enjoy the tutorial as a preparation for what they will observe down the road....Thanks!

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  3. :D
    Now...how many times can a rooster mate in a day?

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    Replies
    1. I'll see your trivia question and I'll raise you a link:

      "A rooster may mate from 10 to 30 or more times per day, depending on the availability of hens and competition from other roosters." See more information HERE.

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    2. 10 to 30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Better get those boys a LOT OF LADIES!

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  4. Some males mate many more times than that. I have not counted exactly, however a few days ago I noticed my cockerel mating one particular hen over 12 times while I was outside. He mated all of them several times, but that one it seemed he was never far away from. I have a pullet in with the baby's because he will not leave her lone and she is molting. She does not have feathers on the back of her head at all..nothing to hang on to, so he grabs her skin. She now will sport a scar. I wish I had put a stitch in it or super glued it the day it happened. It might have healed better. I put her back after a week and it happened again. No fertile eggs from her for a while.

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    Replies
    1. Poor thing! Not only does she need a hen saddle, but a hen hat, too! Perhaps a full-hen bodysuit?

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    2. So, Vicki, do you ever recommend having an apron or do you just separate them in this kind of situation? What about for those of us who do not have a place for separation...what do y'all recommend?

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  5. Fabulously done! And I learned something. Thanks.

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  6. Very well done! & a beautiful roo

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  7. egg.. chicken egg... chicken..
    hmmm.. so... it was the chicken.. right? answer to who came first..?

    alex.. i'll have sex with birds for 2000$ oops.. that kinda came out wrong.. so wrong.. but i just cant erase it..

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  8. Great post. I hope you'll come link up to our Blog Hop.
    http://www.fresh-eggs-daily.com/2013/05/from-farm-blog-hop-39.html

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  9. Haha I love this post! I have seen this mating ritual so many times with my chickens. Roosters can get pretty rough! I didn't know that there wasn't actually any penetration with the sex though. Interesting! Great photos too, really high quality shots!

    Visiting from the "From The Farm Blog Hop" today.
    Tammy
    ourneckofthewoods.net

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  10. BDM--Loved your play-by-play!! I loved out loud more than once. The kids just shake their heads at me. :) Excellent article!!

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  11. Well . . . wonderful article. And now I'm going to have a cigarette and a nap. ;-)

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  12. Thank you for the lesson and laughs. I just gave my beautiful roo away because the act looks so violent to me. Whatta I know.? I'm just a city girl and new to this chicken raising thing but having fun learning.

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    Replies
    1. It can look a bit violent... and even more so with young cockerels. Yet, chickens have been doing this since the dawn of time. :-)
      Leigh

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  13. My kids simply say they are doing the "Chicken Dance"...kind of give that song a whole new meaning! LOL Thanks for the great info!!

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  14. LOL....Thanks for the way you explained..l was embarrassed to ask someone..very funny...Bless you.

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  15. HILARIOUS!!! I LOVE IT!!! You are a funny lady!

    -Lea-

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  16. Leigh, you are wonderful!!!! Most entertaining, and I might add, informative. Hell, this was better than Gone With The Wind!

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  17. absolutely amazing

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  18. I rather enjoyed that lessin on chicken mating.........I nearly killed bantam rooster the other day because I thought his wing was him picking fights with the hens My husband laughed at me. So thanks because I still didnt get what he really was doing. How cute! now that I know, its kinda funny.

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    Replies
    1. Glad you didn't kill your rooster. LOL!

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  19. I loved it!! I love your openess and how to create that secial momment (of 2 seconds) so real!! It's a teaure just to read your blog and I just found you 30 mins ago! I will be watching...and reading OFTEN!! I have 12 girls and one ROO (had 7, all outside of the coop, but for various reasons, last one won the title of "SURVIVOR" (didn't get the million or whatever the $$ is on TV) but he got to go in the coop... and he struts!! Definately struts!! LOL

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  20. My rooster is not mating with my hens..any suggestions?
    Actually he is only mating with one hen..not with others..what to do?

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  21. It is not uncommon for a rooster to have a favorite hen. In some cases a more dominant hen will actually try to prevent the rooster from mating with the other hens.

    First - check the eggs of the other hens for fertility. Unless you are out in the chicken yard watching the flock all day, it is possibly you are just not seeing the rooster mating the other hens. Here is an article on checking eggs for fertility:
    http://naturalchickenkeeping.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-to-tell-if-your-chicken-eggs-are.html

    If they are not fertile and you are wanting to breed and hatch chicks, you may need to get another rooster or separate a hen that is preventing the rooster from mating with the other girls.
    Good luck!

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    Replies
    1. If the link doesn't work, copy and paste this (the whole thing) into your browser address bar:

      http://naturalchickenkeeping.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-to-tell-if-your-chicken-eggs-are.html

      Delete

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